St Patrick's Day
by OpenValor
Summary: Dante decides the group should celebrate St Pat's day....what could go wrong? EVERYTHING. R
1. Chapter 1

Hey There everyone!!!! This story is dedicated to a special friend of mine, who gave me this idea!!! Ah, cant wait for St. Patrick's Day….  
^_^ Enjoy!

Chapter 1 – Wearing Green

"Remind me brother why I'm doing this," Vergil grumbled, his arms held out by his sides so he looked like a T.

"Because it's a good idea," Dante replied.

"Colouring me green is a good idea?" Vergil retorted, grinding his teeth together.

"Of course it is!! St. Patrick's day is coming up!" Dante grabbed the paint roller.

Vergil gulped, looking at the bright green substance that his fool of a brother was going to paint him in.  
"We're demons Dante. Celebrating the day of a Saint is unnatural," Vergil grimaced as Dante started to paint his arms.

Vergil was only wearing a pair of black boxers, meaning that he would get a line between his real skin colour and the colour that would make him look like the slim version of Shrek.

"So? Everything that happens around us is unnatural," Dante replied, a smile appearing on his face.  
"…I can't argue with you Dante," Vergil replied.

"Hah, I win again," Dante grinned, continuing to paint his brother.

--------

Upstairs, Nero decided to wake up. He started his new regime of waking up at 10, and not training till after 7. He knew he sounded slacky, but he couldn't be bothered moving anymore since there were no jobs coming in.

He rolled off the bed, landing smack on his face. "Ow…" he mumbled to himself, and then got up.

It sounded incredibly silent downstairs, so Nero pulled on a pair on jeans and walked down.

Where he found Dante painting something green.  
It took a moment for Nero to realise that it was Vergil.

"Old man? What the hell are you doing?" Nero asked.  
Dante looked up and waved. "Hey Kid, how's my work?" he pointed to Vergil.  
From the neck up, Vergil looked okay, but from the neck down….  
"Why the hell is he green?" Nero asked, sitting on the couch.  
"Well, St. Patrick's day is coming up," Dante replied, starting to paint Vergil's back.  
Vergil shuddered. "Green…Stupid paint is cold too. I hate you brother. I really do."

Dante smirked. "Aw, don't be a sour puss."  
"Is that pain washable?" Nero asked.  
Dante stopped painting for a moment, while Vergil's eyes widened.  
"You mean…?" Vergil looked at Dante who was looking at the paint can.  
Dante read it slowly, murmuring to himself: "This paint is not washable, and should only be used for painting rooms or houses."

Vergil opened his mouth like he was going to scream, but no sound came out.  
Nero burst into laughter. "Not washable? How long has the paint been on there?" he asked.

Dante thought to himself. "A good half an hour," he turned to look at Vergil, who wasn't there.  
"Where did Verge go?" Dante asked.  
As if to answer their question, the shower tap from upstairs turned on.  
"I HATE YOU DANTE!!! READ THE FRICKING LABEL FIRST!!!! FRICK!!! IT WONT COME OFF!!!!!!" Vergil yelled.

Dante and Nero looked at each other, and then burst into laughter.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone! Sorry for uploading it really late, i had some things come up. Anyway, i hope you enjoy! I admit this one was a bit rushed..... T_T  
HAPPY EASTER!

* * *

Chapter 2 – Drinking Guinness

-St Patrick's Day -

While Vergil was spending another hour in the shower trying to take the paint off, Dante was busy looking at an old catalogue.  
"Old man, what are we doing now?" Nero asked.  
"Waiting for Verge." Dante replied.  
"Why?"  
"We're going to a pub."  
"Eh?" Nero raised an eyebrow.

Dante sighed. "Don't you know what a pub is?"  
"No…" Nero looked away, trying to focus his eyes on something else.  
"It's an English bar," Dante replied.  
"…Oh…I knew that," Nero replied.  
"Sure, sure," Dante smiled to himself.

The water turned off, and it was silent, then there were footsteps going down the stairs.  
"Verge, you willing to pay the water bill?" Dante asked.  
"No. It's your fault."  
"Blame me why don't you,"  
"I intend to."  
Dante looked at his brother, then tried to stifle a laugh.

Vergil still had a distinct sheen of green all over his body. It looked like he had a permanent look of motion sickness.  
"Ate too many Brussels Sprouts?" Dante asked.  
Nero snickered.  
"Shut your mouth. What are you doing?"  
"Waiting for you. We're going to a pub."

Vergil looked at his brother blankly.  
"What was that?" he asked.  
Dante smiled. "We're going to a bar, bro."  
"Why?"  
"Because it's a tradition."  
"Since when?"  
"It's for St Patricks day."  
"Oh, not this again."  
"What?"  
Vergil shook his head. "We're _demons!! _We don't celebrate the day of a Saint!"

Dante laughed. "Who cares? No-one knows we're demons."  
"That's not the point!" Vergil pinched the bridge of his nose.

Nero stood up. "It's 7pm. I'm going out."  
"Wait, I'm coming with you."  
"Why? I'm not going to a ba—I mean pub."  
"You are now." Dante smiled.

Nero slapped his forehead with his palm.  
Vergil thought for a moment. He might as well go ahead with it. Maybe a few drinks would get his mind off a few things.  
"Alright brother. You win. I'm going to put my shirt on." Vergil walked up the stairs.

Dante grinned.

-A few hours later-

"Ya know what sucks??? Da fact dat I can't get a day off!!" Vergil laughed loudly and took another gulp of his Guinness.  
"Verge, easy on the beer," Dante smiled.  
Vergil was always bad with liquor.  
"Bro, ya know I lurve ya right??! I mean, you're sooo cool!! Why can't I wear reed!???" Vergil pouted.  
Dante looked around. Where was Nero?

"WHOO!!"

Dante looked behind him. Nero was on a table wearing a green top hat and holding a glass of beer.  
"Oh crap," Dante muttered to himself.  
Nero started to dance, swinging his hips and arms.  
"Oh hey look bro!! Nero's gone all tipsy!!" Vergil laughed.  
Dante gulped. How in the hell was he going to take both of them home?

The girls cheered as Nero started taking his clothes off.  
"Oh my God…" Dante looked side to side.  
"Da dah dah! Da dah da!! Whoo!" Nero took his shirt off, and threw it into the crowd.

Looks like Nero couldn't hold his liquor either.  
"I hate me life Dante! Why do I hav to be dah bad guy?? Why can't I be cool??" Vergil burst into tears, clutching Dante's shoulder.  
"Oh…Uh…Verge, you don't have to uh…be the bad guy…" Dante mumbled.  
Vergil continued to cry, taking occasional gulps of his drink.  
"What number drink was that?" Dante asked.  
"I dunno…maybe me 10th." Vergil mumbled.  
"You should stop," Dante said.  
Vergil slumped on the table, falling asleep.

Nero's voice could still be heard as Dante finished his glass.

"Oh well. Cant wait for next year," Dante laughed to himself as he asked for another glass.


End file.
